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For polyamorous households, three hearts can be better than two

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Reggie Alexander was a good-natured man. It really is a trait that serves your better.

Seated regarding sofa within his Denver residence, he is keeping on the job their right together with his wife, Eeza Alexander, that is dark-eyed, playful and eager to try to let Reggie know as he’s generated a bad joke. His left-hand, meanwhile, is actually intertwined with that of Cassidy Browning, who is considerate and self-confident.

Reggie and Eeza and Cassidy, all in their own middle- to belated forties, is several. Really, not two. They truly are a polyamorous triad — a small grouping of three committed associates live with each other in a relationship under one roof. Within instance, Reggie describes, he will act as the “hinge partner. It really is a relationship in which the person at the center of V try totally involved in both of the individuals at the stops of V, but they are not as completely associated with each other because they are making use of person from the center.”

And after six several years of located in this community, Reggie can be used to being in the midst of every thing — such as their particular California king-sized bed. “It’s hard to get upwards in the exact middle of the night time to visit the toilet,” he colombian cupid laughs. “It is an athletic achievement.”

The exact concept of polyamory is “many really likes.” However in application, the expression normally pertains to non-monogamous but honest interactions where in fact the group involved have confidence in sincerity, permission, open telecommunications and count on. Indeed, the typical concepts of polyamory are similar to the ones from monogamy; you just have to do the same products more frequently, and with most couples.

Generally speaking, mainstream society enjoys linked polyamory with swinging, hippie love-festing, cheating and, needless to say, certain spiritual communities, either recent or historic. The Mormons, the quintessential famous of those, no further formally embrace polygamy, however some splinter organizations nonetheless training it.

But the picture of polyamory is evolving, specially with reality-TV concerts like cousin spouses and Polyamory: hitched and relationships. And, anecdotally, many monogamous partners is changing their relationships to-be just what sex-advice columnist Dan Savage phone calls “monogamish.”

Actually, Reggie, Eeza and Cassidy believe that creating a long-term connection with more than anyone try an important fulfillment each time when breakup rates into the U.S. continue steadily to enlarge, nasty breakups appear to be standard, and everyone understands someone who is not getting their needs satisfied in a monogamous commitment.

“our world. is seeking renewable dynamics that really work,” claims Reggie. “the times from the standard atomic family members getting the only product are offering strategy to other options.”

That practice try exactly how Reggie and Eeza got her begin. The two decrease in love in high-school in Edmond, Oklahoma, and had gotten married in 1984, before Reggie graduated. They transferred to Colorado quickly afterwards, and Reggie worked from inside the general public industry while Eeza grabbed a career as an avowed nurse’s assistant. They even have two kiddies.

Within the further decade, however, Reggie and Eeza watched a lot of their friends go through messy divorces, when the couple’s close friends made a decision to split, they chose to sample different things along with their very own marriage. “I have usually thought within the idea of a poly living, even when I didn’t understand it have the state title,” says Reggie. “I always felt I’d plenty of want to give more than simply one girl, but we never ever acted onto it.”

“we had been interested in learning the kink way of living but had not done anything prior to the polyamory,” Eeza brings.

After spending 36 months speaking about whatever desired from a unique connection dynamic, they tried Polymatchmaker.com, an online dating site with a particular theme — and discovered Cassidy.

Cassidy grew up in Michigan and lived in New York and Arizona before moving to Denver, in which she’s got worked at different schools and nonprofits. She was partnered twice (once for six decades and once for ten) and is appearing out of her 2nd divorce proceedings when she made a decision to check out polyamory. She was interested in renewable sex scenes, but polyamory had been anything totally different.

“I had long been interested in the idea of being polyamorous,” states Cassidy. “we experimented briefly along with it inside my second marriage, nonetheless it wasn’t successful. Afterwards divorce or separation — perhaps not as a result of the poly experiment — we knowingly went out discover a polyamorous condition.”

After investing e-mails, the three met directly in 2006, at a Christmas party are conducted by local polyamorous society, plus they struck it well straight away. “We outdated for a little while after which persuaded the girl to maneuver in with us,” states Reggie. “we now haven’t let her escape yet.”

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